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SINGER: Adam Sandler featuring Conan O'Brian
SONG:The Buffoon And The Dean Of Admissions
"and now a buffoon's meeting with the dean of admissions at a prestigious college." [dean:] "well michael, i would like to extend my warmest congradulations on your upcoming graduation and i understand you are interested in matriculating here in the fall." [buffoon:] "i got a snake, man!" [dean:] "yes, pets are welcome here on campus. be it the traditional dog, or cat, or even the occasional reptile." [buffoon:] "one time i fed it some beer man! it was slithering this way and that! it was all fucked up!" [dean:] "i'm sure it was. well we discourage inappropriate drinking among both students and pets here on campus." [buffoon:] "fuckin' shit!" [dean:] "yes, that's a not uncommon reaction to this policy. so tell me a little bit more about your background." [buffoon:] "my father's a fucking asshole, man!" [dean:] "hmm, i see. your feelings of rebelion are not unusual at your age son." [buffoon:] "my mother's a piece of shit too!" [dean:] "well, i hope you can find an outlet for your hostility over the summer so you can come to school in the fall relaxed and ready to learn." [buffoon:] "my teacher in high school was a stupid bitch, man! she had her head way up her ass!" [dean:] "well the quality of the faculty at a university such as ours far exceeds that of a local public high school." [buffoon:] "your secretary's a real fat bitch, man!" [dean:] "yes, she's tried many diets over the years with minimal success." [buffoon:] "i had diarhea last month. i had to shit all fucking day!" [dean:] "uh huh, well we all get the occasional stomach bug, never a pleasurable experience. so have you given any thought to your choice of major?" [buffoon:] "i've got a big fucking boner right now." [dean:] "i see. well sexual arrousal is not uncommon during periods of nervous tension. i do not take offense." [buffoon:] "one time i ate my neighbors shit!" [dean:] "that's understandable. well, i enjoyed meeting you. we'll be sending you our decision by the end of the month." [buffoon:] "i bet you got really hairy balls." [dean:] "yes, it's a veritable forest down there. bye bye."
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