SINGER: Adam Sandler featuring Jennifer Lien

SONG:The Buffoon And The Valedictorian

"and now the buffoon's date at the drive-in with the school's valedictorian."

[valedictorian:] "i really appreciate you're asking me out.
most people are intimidated by my high academic achievement."

[buffoon:] "this movie sucks shit!"

[valedictorian:] "well, ebel gave it thumbs up,
but ciscel thought it was too preachy.
anyway, i enjoyed the director's last film immensly."

[buffoon:] "cathleen turner has big fuckin' tits!"

[valedictorian:] "yes, well, she recently had a child.
i think her maternal biology may play a role in that.
she looks fabulous for a woman her age, doesn't she?"

[buffoon:] "i put a firecracker in a bullfrog's mouth and blew his fuckin' head off."

[valedictorian:] "well, in psychology we learned that it is not uncommon
for male adolescents to commit savage acts on animals as part of their maturing process."

[buffoon:] "that girl in the fucking car in front of us, she gives everybody head."

[valedictorian:] "well, i guess she's strong for attention and she feels promiscuity is the only way to obtain it."

[buffoon eating popcorn]
[buffoon:] "this popcorn's fuckin' terrible. it tastes like someone jizzed all over it."
[buffoon continues to eat popcorn]

[valedictorian:] "well the amount of semen on this popcorn is certainly disturbing.
perhaps the staff in the refreshment stand was overcome
by the monotony of their work and decided to play a childish prank."

[buffoon:] "i looked at my asshole in the mirror today. it blew my fuckin' mind!"

[valedictorian:] "it's ironic that parts of one's body seems odd
and unusual because you don't see them on a day to day basis.

[buffoon:] "my father's shit stinks up the bathroom all fuckin' day!"

[valedictorian:] "it's puzzling why one person's fecal odor can be more overpowering than another's.
i wonder whether it is a function of the food digested or that person's internal metabolism."

[buffoon:] "i'm gonna go get head from that fuckin' girl."
[gets out of the car]

[valedictorian:] "well, i'm sorry to see the date come to such an abrubt conclusion."
[buffoon walking away]
"i do appreciate the time you spent with me and look forward to a future rondevue."

[buffoon:] "i like to piss in that guy's fuckin' gas tank!"

[valedictorian:] "bye bye! have fun."
[buffoon continues to walk away]