SINGER: Monty Python

SONG:Every Sperm Is Sacred

Dad:
there are jews in the world.
there are buddhists.
there are hindus and mormons, and then
there are those that follow mohammed, but
i've never been one of them.
I'm a roman catholic,
and have been since before i was born,
and the one thing they say about catholics is:
they'll take you as soon as you're warm.
You don't have to be a six-footer.
you don't have to have a great brain.
you don't have to have any clothes on. you're
a catholic the moment dad came,
Because

Every sperm is sacred.
every sperm is great.
if a sperm is wasted,
god gets quite irate.
Children:
every sperm is sacred.
every sperm is great.
if a sperm is wasted,
god gets quite irate.
Girl:
let the heathen spill theirs
on the dusty ground.
god shall make them pay for
each sperm that can't be found.
Children:
every sperm is wanted.
every sperm is good.
every sperm is needed
in your neighbourhood.
Mum:
hindu, taoist, mormon,
spill theirs just anywhere,
but god loves those who treat their
semen with more care.
Men:
every sperm is sacred.
every sperm is great.
women:
if a sperm is wasted,...
children:
...god get quite irate.
Priest:
every sperm is sacred.
bride and groom:
every sperm is good.
nannies:
every sperm is needed...
cardinals:
...in your neighbourhood!
Children:
every sperm is useful.
every sperm is fine.
funeral cortege:
god needs everybody's.
mourner #1:
mine!
mourner #2:
and mine!
corpse:
and mine!
Nun:
let the pagan spill theirs
o'er mountain, hill, and plain.
holy statues:
god shall strike them down for
each sperm that's spilt in vain.
Everyone:
every sperm is sacred.
every sperm is good.
every sperm is needed
in your neighbourhood.
Every sperm is sacred.
every sperm is great.
if a sperm is wasted,
god gets quite iraaaaaate!