SINGER: Noel Coward

SONG:Three Juvenile Delinquents

Verse 1

three juvenile delinquents,
juvenile delinquents,
happy as can be-we
waste no time
on the wherefores and whys of it;
we like crime
and that's about the size of it;
people say that films demoralise us,
lead us to a life of shame,
mental doctors try to civilise us,
psycho-analyse us,
blimey, what a game!
they don't know how to treat us,
for if they should beat us
that would never do,
when they say, �go steady!'
we've the answer ready:
and the same to you!

verse 2

three juvenile delinquents,
juvenile delinquents,
happy as can be-we
hit and run
for the thrill and the sport of it;
nice clean fun
and that's the long and short of it.
dear old ladies often get the vapours
when we meet them after dark-whoo!
then next day we read about our capers
in the daily papers,
blimey, what a lark!
we thrill the sunday readers,
but the silly bleeders
haven't got a clue
when the judge says, �chokey'
we say �okey-dokey'
and the same to you!

verse 3

three juvenile delinquents,
juvenile delinquents,
happy as can be-we
lick our chops
when we read what they write of us
all the cops
hate the bloody sight of us.
once we pinched a cadillac and drove her
from the marble arch to kew;
hit a fat old geezer in a rover,
fairly bowled her over,
blimey, what a do!
we said, �you mustn't fuss, dear,
there's a lovely bus, dear,
number twenty-two,
if we've bruised your bonnet,
stick a plaster on it.'
and the same to you!

verse 4

three juvenile delinquents,
juvenile delinquents.
every now and then-when
kind old cranks
mention angels of light to us
we say, �thanks,
don't forget to write to us.'
nowadays the younger generation
never had to face brute force.
some old judge, instead of flagellation,
puts us on probation!
blimey, what a sauce!
last night we got an earful
from a rather tearful
clergyman we knew.
when he turned the sobs on
we replied, �with knobs on'
and the same to you!

verse 5

three juvenile delinquents,
juvenile delinquents,
happy as can be-we
break our backs
to achieve popularity.
three sharp whacks,
faith and hope and charity.
once we knocked a pair of silly sluts out
just behind the �horse and plough',
dragged them round to where the railing juts out,
bellowing their guts out,
blimey, what a row!
we had to cosh �em proper,
then we saw a copper
starting to pursue
then we cried vibrato,
�how's your old tomato?'
and the same to you!