SINGER: Jimmy Buffett

SONG:Fruitcakes

<intro>
you know, i was talking to my friend desdemoda the other day. she runs the space station and bait shop down near boomtown. she told me that human beings were flawed individuals. that the cosmic baker took us out of the oven a little too early. that's why we're all so crazy. and i believe it. take for example when your go to the movies anymore. they try to sell you this big jumbo-sized drink. that's eight extra ounces of watered-down cherry coke for twenty-five cents, i don't want it. i don't want that much organization in my life. i don't want other people thinking for me! i want my junior mints! where did junior mints go at the movies? i don't want a twelve pound nesley crunch for twenty-five dollars! i want junior mints! we need more fruitcakes in this world! less bakers! we need people that care! i'm made as hell! and i don't wanna take it anymore!
<chorus>
fruitcakes in the kitchen
fruitcakes on the street
struttin' naked through the cross-walk
in the middle of the week
half-baked cookies in the oven
half-baked people on the bus
there's a little bit of fruitcake
left in every one of us
------
paradise! lost and found
paradise! take a look around
i was out in california
where i hear they have it all
they got riots, fires, and mudslides
they got sushi in the mall
water bars, brontonsaurs
chinese modern lust
shake and bake life with a quake
the secret's in the crust
<chorus>
speakin' of fruitcakes, how 'bout the government?
your tax dollars at work
we lost our martian rocket ship
the high paid spokesman said
looks like that silly rocket ship
has lost it's cone shaped head
we spent ninety jillion dollars
trying to get a look at mars
i hear universal laughter
ringing out among the stars
fruitcakes in the galaxy
fruitcakes on the earth
struttin' naked towards eternity
we've been that way since birth
half-baked cookies in the oven
half-baked people on the bus
there's a little bit of fruitcake
left in every one of us
religion, religion
oh there's a thin line between saturday night and sunday morning
here we go now
alright alter boys
mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa
mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa
where's the church?
who took the steeple?
religion's in the hands of some crazy-ass people
television preachers with bad hair and dimples
the god's honest truth is it's not that simple
it's the buddhist in you
it's the pagan in me
it's the muslim in him
she's catholic, ain't she?
it's the born look again
it's the wasp and the jew
tell me what's goin' on?
i ain't got a clue!
here come the big ones...
relationships. we all got 'em
we all want 'em
what do we do with 'em?
here we go, i'll tell you
she said you got to do your fair share
so cough up half the rent
i treat my body like a temple
you treat your's like a tent
but the right words at the right time
may get me a little hug
that's the difference between lightning
and a harmless lightning bug
<chorus>
future, captain's log
star date 2000 and somethin'
we're seven years from the millenium
that's a science-fiction fact
so i'll put on my bob marley tape
and practice what i preach
get jah lost in the reggae mon,
as i walk along the beach
stay in touch with my insanity
really is the only way
it's a jungle out there kiddies
have a very fruitful day
<chorus>
------
that's right you two, those crumbs are spread all around this universe. i've seen fruitcakes. i saw this guy in santa monica roller skate naked thru the crosswalk. down in new orleans, french market there are fruitcakes like you cannot believe! new york? forget it, fruitcake city. down island we got fruitcakes. spread them crumbs around. that's right, we want 'em around! keep bakin' baby! keep bakin!