SINGER: The Crypt Keeper

SONG:Juggle Bills

The world's financial crunch
has even hit saint nick
he's had to lay off helpers
which made him down right sick
and now here comes the saddest news
news you won't believe
dear santa won't be coming to your house christmas eve
Santa claus went broke
just the other day
then his friendly bank
repossessed his sleigh
his costs have all gone up
his profits went down
this christmas poor old santa claus ain't coming to your town
Juggle bills, juggle bills
can't get through the stack
it ain't no joke
the fat guys broke
there's not much in his sack
jack
Santa claus, santa claus
is sportin' quite a frown
it makes him sick
to think saint nick ain't coming to your town
Santa has a list
a short one i fear
your names not on it now
but maybe on next year
the money crunch has hit
dear santa claus as well
some day this christmas will be called the holiday from hell
Juggle bills, juggle bills
that's all that santa does
no time for toys, for girls and boys
it ain't what it once was
‘cause
Santa claus, santa claus
hasn't got a buck
they cut up all his credit cards
and your just out of luck
ha
He's tightening his belt
he's even lost some weight
a shadow of himself
at just 328
he had eight reindeer once
but now he's down to five
he barbequed the other three to keep his elves alive
Juggle bills, juggle bills
just to make ends meat
santa's got a push cart
selling chestnuts on the street
Santa claus, santa claus
so hard to believe
that rolly polly jolly man won't be here christmas eve
Yesterday was bad
today is even worse
i thought i'd never hear
dear old santa, curse
This damn financial crunch
has turned us all to boobs
santa's life, as well as ours
have all gone down the tubes
Juggle bills, juggle bills
can't get through the stack
it ain't no joke
the fat guys broke
there's nothing in his sack
jack
Santa clause, santa claus
the bottom line is clear
the ink is red
i think we're dead
no santa clause this year
There ain't no fun for anyone
no santa claus this year!