SINGER: Kristen Chenoweth,

SONG:My New Philosophy

Spoken:
Sally: oh yeah? that’s what you think!
Schroeder: what?
Sally: that’s my new philosophy. oh yeah? that’s what you think!
Schroeder: well, why are you telling me?
Sally: what?
Schroeder: why are you telling me?
Sally: why are you telling me… i like it! that’s a good philosophy. why are you telling me? why are you telling me?
Sung:
Sally: why are you telling me: my new philosophy. the teacher gave a d on last week’s homework! she said, “miss sally brown, your grades are goin’ down.” i should have told her-
Schroeder: your new philosophy?
Sally: my new philosophy.
*imitates teacher* “miss b?”
i’m she.
“look, see.”
a d?
a d.
Well, why are you telling me? and that’s my new philosophy!
Schroeder: that’s your new philosophy?
Sally: why are you telling me- my new philosophy!
Spoken:
Schroeder: that’s great, sally, but i’ve gotta go practice chopin’s nocturn in b flat minor…
Sally: no! i like it! no! that’s a good philosophy… no! no! no!
Schroeder: that’s your new philosophy, huh?

Sally: yes! *gasps* i mean, no!
just like a busy bee, each new philosophy can fly from tree to tree and keep me moving. when life’s a dizzy maze on alternating days i choose a different phrase!
Schroeder: your new philosophy.
Sally: my new philosophy.
Schroeder: sally! some philosophies are simple: “man does not live by bread alone.” some philosophies are clear:

Sally: “leave your massage at the sound of the tone”?
Both: some philosophies pick and choose deciding what goes in, and
Schroeder: some take a lifetime!
Sally: mine take a minute!
Spoken:
Schroeder: but sally, anything that takes only a minute can’t be very lasting! for instance, beethoven took over two years to complete his brilliant ninth symphony.
Sally: no!
Schroeder: i can’t stand it!
Sally: *in whiney voice* i can’t stand it!
i like it!!!
Sung:
Sally: it’s like a guarantee, my new philosophy. and things are sure to be a whole lot brighter!
Spoken:
Sally: oh yeah? that’s what you think! why are you telling me? no! i can’t stand it!
Sung:
Sally: now life is free and easy, much more pihlosopheezy whith my brand new-
Spoken:
Sally: you know, someone has said that we should live each day as if it were the last day of our life…
Patty: agh! this is the last day! this is it! i only have twenty-four hours to live! this is the last day! auuuuuuuuuugh!
Sally: clearly, some philosophies aren’t for all people…
Sung:
sally: and that’s my new philosophy!